Ah, the days of olde, when men would treat women with respect and dignity. When men go off to war to protect women and other members of society. When men would treat a woman more like a person, not an object to possess. Of course, not all men were like this even in the time of knights, but we seem to be losing the principles they followed almost on a daily basis. What happened to men holding the door for women? What happened to being polite to a lady? In these times of new-fangled devices, we are losing the personal touches of life. I will try to make this so that it isn’t something only guys would want to read, for anyone reading who is female.
First off, I would like top admit that I, Trevor Franz, am not exactly an expert with women. Far from it actually, but that isn’t the point of chivalry. I have seen and heard about many things today that truly sadden me. Asking someone out online? Honestly? I realize that some of us as guys have trouble approaching someone we like, but even I have been able to overcome that a few times. It may have taken me a while to do so, but I refuse to ask in a way other than personally. Not only is it just plain tacky, but it will gain you no respect from guys and girls alike. A far worse thing I have heard of, sadly many times, is breaking up over a text or e-mail. It angers me that someone is not willing to stand up and do so face-to-face with someone. If you can’t say it personally, then you have no place being in a relationship in the first place. You are obviously not mature enough for it.
Looking at other aspects of this thing called chivalry is the part about holding doors for women and such (what an idea!!!). We sometimes stumble across the sight of an elderly man opening the car door for his wife, closing it, and then entering the car personally. We might stop and think how “cute” it is and how much of a gentleman he is, but a second later we slam the door in the face of someone behind us. We so quickly forget these things and don’t apply them to our lives. Would it hurt to show the women in your life a little respect? I’m not talking just about your girlfriend, wife, or crush, but all you see. Yep, you heard me (or read me, I guess). Why should you hold the door only for your girlfriend when there is a big line of people behind her? Chivalry isn’t a system developed to gain “brownie points” for guys. It is a way of regarding people. Do for every girl what you would do for someone you like. This includes your mother, too; after all, she did raise you. And when you take a girl out to eat, for heaven’s sake pick up the bill!
I truly hope we do not see the total disappearance of gentlemen in this generation. I am already disheartened by the things I hear about all the time today. I fear for the members of those stories and their future relationships. Chivalry should not be something done every-once-and-a-while, but it should be a way of life. So I challenge all of you reading who claim to be men: hold the door for a girl today, whether it is someone completely random, or someone you know. I hope you do not stop there, though. It takes a real man to treat a woman with respect.
Call it blaming the victim, but I think chivalry was dealt a mortal blow by women themselves. The "unisex" movement of the 1970s blurred if not demolished many of the gender distinctives that allowed chivalry to thrive. Women now dress like men (once women wearing slacks was a scandal, now it raises nary an eyebrow even in Fundamental Baptist churches like the one I attend). Women speak like men (once was the day gentlemen didn't use "off-color" language around women, now many women carpetbomb their conversations with f-bombs). Women have moved in on the traditional turf of guys; for example, sports. Once was the day women weren't sports fanatics (a term heard rarely nowadays is "football widow"). Now many women scream and high-five just like the overgrown little boys watching the game at Hooters. As much as I admire your call for a return to those halcyon days of yesteryear (and say Amen to your closing lines!), I must admit I'm discouraged we can ever go back. I simply can't see men standing up when a woman enters the room, tipping their hats in her presence, actions that were commonplace in polite circles only 30 or 40 years ago and are now looked upon as foreign and hopelessly quaint by anyone under age 40 or 50. However, I would love to be proven wrong, and I hope your call to chivalry sparks a trend (or, more modestly, sparks a few latter-day gentlemen to hold open a car door, allow a lady to be seated and order first in a restaurant and to watch their language in her presence). Keep fighting the good fight, brother. --Gary in Omaha
ReplyDeleteI have to agree with Gary on this. I think that in a society where everyone wants everything to be equal, we cannot have something that places women on a pedestal like chivalry fundamentally does. That doesn't mean we CAN'T do those things. I think, as your new vblog pointed out, we as a society have lost respect. I don't agree with chivalry. I think that if women truly want equal rights then we should equally open the door for the opposite sex, both women and men. I think that women should go out and do typically men activities such as mowing the lawn or shoveling. As harsh as this comment sounds I believe it with my whole being, women should not expect to be treated as equally as men in terms of pay and job titles if they are not willing to do the work. Now there are some women who do the work, and they deserve everything that a man in that position would get, but we as a society need to stop putting them on pedestals. For example, a female can receive more college funding than a male, why? It's like we consider them a minority. That's wrong in my opinion. I feel the same way for other races as well. Back to the chivalry topic though, I think that we all need to show more respect to everyone. Plain and simple.
ReplyDeleteI would have to agree with you on most counts, and I thought about doing a revisit blog on this one to address things more fully. I am definitely for the equal treatment of all but I don't really think I am elevating women by doing these things. I do these things out of a humility, not subservience. Now I do say we should all being willing to serve each other regardless of gender, as you said - the world needs more respect.
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