Chivalry

            Today, I though maybe I would bring one of my older blogs.  Since I have yet to write another (I am working on it) I think this one is one worth revisiting.  So enjoy:

Ah, the days of olde, when men would treat women with respect and dignity.  When men go off to war to protect women and other members of society.  When men would treat a woman more like a person, not an object to possess.  Of course, not all men were like this even in the time of knights, but we seem to be losing the principles they followed almost on a daily basis.  What happened to men holding the door for women?  What happened to being polite to a lady?  In these times of new-fangled devices, we are losing the personal touches of life.  I will try to make this so that it isn’t something only guys would want to read, for anyone reading who is female. 

First off, I would like top admit that I, Trevor Franz, am not exactly an expert with women.  Far from it actually, but that isn’t the point of chivalry.  I have seen and heard about many things today that truly sadden me.  Asking someone out online?  Honestly?  I realize that some of us as guys have trouble approaching someone we like, but even I have been able to overcome that a few times.  It may have taken me a while to do so, but I refuse to ask in a way other than personally.  Not only is it just plain tacky, but it will gain you no respect from guys and girls alike.  A far worse thing I have heard of, sadly many times, is breaking up over a text or e-mail.  It angers me that someone is not willing to stand up and do so face-to-face with someone.  If you can’t say it personally, then you have no place being in a relationship in the first place.  You are obviously not mature enough for it.

Looking at other aspects of this thing called chivalry is the part about holding doors for women and such (what an idea!!!).  We sometimes stumble across the sight of an elderly man opening the car door for his wife, closing it, and then entering the car personally.  We might stop and think how “cute” it is and how much of a gentleman he is, but a second later we slam the door in the face of someone behind us.  We so quickly forget these things and don’t apply them to our lives.  Would it hurt to show the women in your life a little respect?  I’m not talking just about your girlfriend, wife, or crush, but all you see.  Yep, you heard me (or read me, I guess).  Why should you hold the door only for your girlfriend when there is a big line of people behind her?  Chivalry isn’t a system developed to gain “brownie points” for guys.  It is a way of regarding people.  Do for every girl what you would do for someone you like.  This includes your mother, too; after all, she did raise you.  And when you take a girl out to eat, for heaven’s sake pick up the bill!

I truly hope we do not see the total disappearance of gentlemen in this generation.  I am already disheartened by the things I hear about all the time today.  I fear for the members of those stories and their future relationships.  Chivalry should not be something done every-once-and-a-while, but it should be a way of life.  So I challenge all of you reading who claim to be men: hold the door for a girl today, whether it is someone completely random, or someone you know.  I hope you do not stop there, though.  It takes a real man to treat a woman with respect.  

Meek, Not Silent

            You might think post-modernism has made way for a lot more free-thinking, but in that you would be wrong.  While the post-modernist movement has encouraged people to think for themselves, it has also made way for loud people to suppress everyone else.  For those of you who don’t know what post-modernism is, it revolves around the idea that everyone is right in their own mind; for example: “to each his own” is a very post-modernist idea.  So what you end up with are a few blowhards who get people excited about an idea that may or may not be good and, in fact, suppress free thought.  And why is this happening?  Because the idea that everyone is entitled to their own opinion has turned out to be entitlement to believe you are right in all things.

            While I don’t particularly agree with the idea of post-modernism, the basic idea of it and I share a common goal: to get people thinking.  Now post-modernism aims itself at the thought that everyone is right; just only personally.  Unfortunately, what this fails to address is how incomprehensibly ignorant and stubborn people can be.  People, in fact, are not always right.  I’m not trying to force the idea of “one truth” on you, but I am saying that people can stick to some highly destructive ideas.  The apparent goal of post-modernism is to get people to listen to each other.  The idea I propose is simply respecting each other.  Be civil when discussing things.  Why I think we have come to the point of suppressing free though is because people no longer respect different ideas because they’re right.  Thus, people start yelling and pit each other further into their particular idea of right and wrong. 

            One of the worst side effects of the post-modernist movement is the shunning of arguments.  Since people have become less civil, the definition of “argument” has changed from a debating discourse to people yelling at each other.  So what we get anymore is extremists overwhelming the world with their ideas and functioning ideas that are drowned out in the noise.  What’s worse is that the world is becoming softer in more ways than this.  People are afraid to do almost anything that might cause a stir or make someone uncomfortable.  I’m here to tell you that an argument is not a bad thing and that discomfort is necessary for change.  Arguments (or debates) are very good things for the world.  I have held numerous civil arguments with friends of mine that broaden both our perspectives – and we’re still friends!

           

            While lack of respect is a big part of the problem, I think the biggest problem is that people don’t do anything anymore.  We forsake action for temporary comfort.  But what we ultimately believe is respecting others inadvertently ends with the world only getting further and further from what we believe is right.  It is very possible to do controversial things without disrespecting people.  Certainly, you might step on a few toes, but such is the nature of change in a large society.  Controversial acts are not bad things - they get people thinking.  These newfound actions against illegal immigration might not be what we really need, but they have brought attention to the growing issue of illegal aliens in the states.  Rising issues with homosexual marriage have made people think about what government can and cannot dictate.  The problem with these issues is that they have become highly polarized.  The frankly childish way we have chosen to debate these ideas has caused us to debate more for bragging rights than for the issue itself.  Debates become more and more personal as sides become more and more hostile.  What I am proposing is that we act on our beliefs, but in a respectful way.  Think for yourselves and make known the other side of the story.  Stand up for your point-of-view when the time comes, but respect those you contradict.

            Christians: this means you as well.  We are called to be respectful, but not to be idle.  We are called to stand out from the crowd, but not to hate it.  Likewise, Jesus says on the Sermon on the Mount that “blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth;” but “meek” does not mean “silent.”  Myron Augsburger says in his commentary of Matthew that “Meekness is not weakness; rather it is the gentle spirit, the disciplined or controlled spirit. In Greek the word for meek, praus, is an ethical word. Aristotle spoke of meekness as the mean between anger and indifference. It is a word that denotes self-control, but also means genuine humility.”  Nowhere in the Bible does it say we are to be silent.  Causing controversy as the Church is not a bad thing and as we are called to stand out from the world it is quite expected.  Our faith will make people uncomfortable.  Jesus was not all about making people feel good; He was about bringing glory to God.  We need to stand up for our faith and do so in respectful manner “so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us” (Titus 2:8 ESV). 

            So there it is: a call to act and a call to respect.  I ask you to think for yourself and to seek understanding.  I don’t necessarily ask you to believe what I believe, but simply to know what you believe.  Question things and seek knowledge of opposing views.  Respect those who disagree with you and you just might learn something. 

            Thanks for reading!  Go and remember: ignorance is the enemy.

Augsburger, M. S., & Ogilvie, L. J. (1982). Vol. 24: The Preacher's Commentary Series, Volume 24 : Matthew. Formerly The Communicator's Commentary. The Preacher's Commentary series (18). Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson Inc.                             


I recently did a video component to this blog, so if you want to watch - here it is!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtFL5gkMeBQ